Creation Story

In no time, there was nothing.

Suddenly, the four gods existed, and reflexively created the universe. They descended to the planet below and began exploring.

The Penguin God created followers in his own image to make s’mores and retrieve the TV remote for him.

The Seal God created followers in his own image to write poems and songs to appreciate.

The Rabbit God created followers in his own image because it seemed like the thing to do.

The Human God decided to do something a little different and created the Orcs, massive and strong bipeds, to fashion great monuments in his honor.
When the Orcs proved too dull-witted to grasp the complexities of engineering, the Human God created the Elves, creatures of great intellect.

When the Elves proved uninterested in creating monuments to the Human God, He sighed and created followers in his own image.

When the Humans attracted the attention of the Rabbit God, He determined He would embarrass the Human God by improving upon the bipedal Human template in ways that pleased him, and called his improvements “Imps.”

The Human God did not appreciate the Rabbit God’s efforts and left the planet to explore the newly forming stars.

When the Human God returned ages later, he looked down to the planet and remarked to the Penguin God at how his people had multiplied.

The Penguin God smiled and replied that the Human God should have followed his lead and added birth control to the water.

The Human God continued to wonder aloud, mouth agape, that there must be a hundred thousand of his followers walking the planet.

The Penguin God responded with a grin, “That’s nothing; there were two billion before the Collapse.”